Seeing
by R. Controversy
Summary: There's something unusual about Lilly's shadow which only she can see for what it truly is.


**Seeing**

A shadow dogged the stately young lady as she walked with slow, thoughtful steps. Her tapping cane reported much to her, but never indicated the shadow. Of course, she knew it was there. Lilly knew that whenever she stepped out into day, a black curtain would follow her where her figure had cut the sunlight. Who could ever question something so essential, even if they could not see it? It was satisfying just knowing.

She crossed through the gateway and off the Yamaku grounds. She paused for a moment and wondered silently to herself about her shadow. How did that shadow look? Did people think anything of it? What did they think? She pushed those thoughts down with all the quiet force a well-bred lady could muster, but the serenity didn't last. When she'd gotten herself into town, the beats between perfunctory taps of her cane on familiar ground--_The blind, keeping up appearances! How droll!_, she thought--were marked by murmurs. Of course, she could not fault them on their etiquette: they had kept it to the polite volume with a consistency one would expect from old money, it was just their misfortune that she had taken the initiative to cultivate a precision of hearing that made the words plain.

"--ch a pity--"

"--look at that?--"

"How awful."

"--what's wrong with her--"

She inhaled with a well-rehearsed pace and exhaled just as precisely. As she stepped into the convenience store, her shadow shrunk tightly to her, withdrawing from the scrutiny of low-hanging light fixtures. She could feel the soft darkness close around her.

_Are you scared?_ she thought, but said nothing. What could you say to a shadow, anyway? If you could say anything, would it matter? She went about her shopping in silence, her shadow never extending an inch from her. The familiar cashier was gratifyingly jovial, but if only he knew he was too late! Groceries in hand, she left, forced herself not to hear anything but the constant tap, tap, tap, which she was aware was significantly harder-sounding than before. _Ara, ara, how unladylike of me._ Such a thought was merely going through the motions. When she had reached the edge of town, a quiet place, she stopped and abruptly turned. Understanding her intentions, her shadow extended itself and reluctantly detached from her altogether.

"Hana--"

"L-Lilly...I'm...I'm sure they were s-saying those things about m-me. B-because of my sc...my scars," the shadow murmured. Lilly could not see how she moved, could not tell what her eyes were saying to her. There was no picture in her head, no sense of the truth of it, but...

"I am certain you are beautiful." She smiled softly. She made her every fiber radiate maternity.

"Y-you can't say that." Apparently, to no effect. "You haven't seen--" the shadow cut herself off, covering her mouth with an audible smack of the palm against her face. Lilly's expression fell slightly. She had known this day would come, but why now? It had taken so long to build up her courage to step back into the world beyond Yamaku this first time. She was mad at herself for pressing the matter. She was mad at people for talking. She was mad at herself for being mad at Hanako, for thinking 'Stop making me a failure as a friend'. She was mad at--

"But...I _want_ you to see," her shadow said, sounding closer suddenly. "Y-you're...my only f-friend...so it's okay if...if it's you."

_See you? But how? I wish I could. I have never felt_ blind _until now but_--

That's when she noticed the featherlight grip around her wrists, moving a hand up to touch soft skin. Soft skin chilled by nerves, tightening in fear. She recognized the shape of a cheek and understood. She moved her other hand up to join its partner, heard a sudden, sharp inhalation and then pressed. The skin she found with her other hand was rough. Uneven. Oh, she had heard the story before, had been able to detect peoples' reactions, but it was the first time she could truly say she _saw_. Both eyes were closed tightly as she let her hands pass over that face. Someone so familiar, how had she gone so long without knowing her face at all, without seeing a thing?

All at once, a single tear slid from each eye and she hung her head.

"L-L...Lilly...?"

"I'm so sorry, Hanako." She could feel in her face the shock of her whole body preparing to flee or break down. "I'm sorry I kept you waiting so long. But I can see you now, Hanako, and you are beautiful."

"L-Lilly!" The soft voice was stunned. The willowy shadow wrapped its arms tightly around her, and she embraced right back, her hand gently stroking the black curtain that fell down her back. She knew its purpose was to hide and yet in that moment, seeing for the first time, Lilly saw that curtain would become a veil to frame that treasure. "D-do you mean it?" Hanako timidly asked. Lilly noticed her laughter was unburdened, different somehow than any way she had left before.

"I have a feeling that some day, your charm will break some lucky man's heart."

"L-Lilly...don't say s-something so ominous..."


End file.
